Have I really been a Xanga member for nearly five years? (Thinking back to that first blog - long gone? did I delete it? could I find it? - pre-Xanga but at what site...)

Lately, I seem to gravitate to Xanga only at times of exhaustion or desperation. That was why I started writing a blog - documenting the daily exhaustion of working as an editor. Maybe only getting to that point once a month is a huge life improvement.

Anyhow. Boo on the end of Spring Break. Boo on my letting a few negative things overshadow a good week.

I am so exhausted in so many ways!

I've pretty much been with family for the past 10 days - and they make me tired.

I've somehow become the cook. This is kind of cool. My grandmother taught *me* her dumpling recipe. (She's closing in on 90 and gets tired quickly so the spatula has been passed to just me.) However, while my grandmother can do no wrong, I can do anything and everything wrong. So I make a batch of perfect dumplings - I double the recipe - and what do I hear? "This is all you made?"

I've also become the bad guy. I made the mistake of pointing out that a few things were felonies - as opposed to good ideas. Really. They thought certain activities (impersonating a police officer, carrying a handgun while intoxicated, insurance fraud, shooting guns in the air in a residential neighborhood) were GOOD ideas. The conversations went like this:

Them: I shoot guns above my father in law's house while drinking.
Me: You can shoot guns in the city limit and not at the gun range?
Them: You can if you go on the neighbor's property - it's big.
Me: Your neighbor is okay with this?
Them: We need to get a police badge in case any one says anything.    (They were serious)
Me: That's a felony, though.
Them: Whatever, Sarah.

Egad. I am SOOOO done. I am to the point of resolving NOT to be around my family without my husband ever again. They seem to corner me - to make me out to be the uptight, boring one - while almost using me as my grandmother - cooking and cleaning and entertaining. My grandmother used to be the "uptight" one; this year I noticed that she leaves the room during conversations like that. How the hell has she put up with this for the past 60 years?

Few quick notes:

1. I've been in a sour mood. Something truly awful happened last week - to someone else - but I had to report it. I'm glad for when we live - when things like that get reported instead of hushed up. I've also had a massive stack of papers to grade. I knocked off 20 today. About 90 to go. And reports to write, grades to submit, and so on. I'm feeling less swamped now - somewhat. I know that I need to follow up on what I reported, but I hope everything is simply taken care of. Done. Over.

2. I made a super Thanksgiving dinner. Menu is here (only I didn't bother with the sprouts or margaritas). My grandmother washed all the dishes. And washed. And washed. And washed. My mom also made the greens and the pie crust - because I didn't care about greens (voted to abandon them about 5 p.m.) and refuse to measure ingredients. And my dad made the turkey (on the grill, keep the oven free). If you look at the menu, you'll see that meant I browned loads and loads of onions, and plated up some beautiful soup.

3. I bought a most perfect pair of driving loafers. This may sound silly but I've looking for a while. This (minor, inexpensive ebay purchase) was a huge "up" on a day when I have been grading... grading... grading.

4. The house search stuff has only gotten more confusing. Our realtor mentioned a nearby area that seemed great, but that won't work. We realized that when driving around this weekend and remembering how much we hate commuting. Back to waiting. Upside of waiting: we've been living a super thrifty life the past four months and have saved up enough that moving now makes more sense (even minus my $10 shoes).

5. I'm ready to start back at school. Ready to go now. Finish now. Rah, rah, rah. Now I need to keep up this motivation for five years.